Double Dose of Sickness

In my mind there are few things worse than sick kids, especially sick infants. They lack the ability to properly vocalize what is ailing them and instead scream for hours on end. I had a double dose of this over the weekend and I felt as if I was playing whack-a-mole for the majority of the past 72 hours. When one would finally fall asleep the other would wake within 5 minutes. Not a figurative five minutes. Literally five minutes. 

 The funny thing is both kids were sick with different things. My two month old had a stomach bug which entailed much puking and diarrhea; my twelve month old is still a mystery even after a trip to Urgent Care and two trips to the pediatrician. Her fever has broken, she's eating again and appears to be in good spirits. There's no more puke and no more dirty diapers that leak as I walk them to the trash can outside. The smell over the weekend was horrific, almost as if a skunk had died in their diapers. I'm pretty sure my neighbors down the street can smell my dumpster.

The stench isn't the only thing that lingers from this little adventure; my house looks like it has been hit by a tornado, and the word tornado barely covers the destruction. The trash can is full, the counters are covered, the dishes are piled up, every single toy they own is strewn across the floor and the girls' laundry is pretty much all dirty. 


 I've showered once in the past 72 hours and I have an immense headache from the screeching I've endured over the past three days. I'm pretty sure I have bits of spit up in my hair but both girls seem to be on the rebound. They're sleeping soundly in their cribs, and I've managed to eat warm leftovers fresh out of the microwave. I'm wearing a clean shirt, and I'm about to take a nice, long, hot shower.

I consider that a victory.

Doing Something Nice for Me!

I've realized that since I've had children I've become increasingly frugal. My husband goes so far as to call me cheap. Now, I'm not one of those extreme couponing ladies but I definitely look for a coupon before I buy anything. I sign up for store loyalty cards and if there are coupons printed at an empty self checkout lane I grab them. The employees throw them out anyway. I go over a list three or four times before I head out the door to shop. 

I get so caught up with saving money that I feel extreme mommy guilt if I buy anything for myself. I bought a replacement cellphone for my husband today, meanwhile my cellphone has been spider cracked for at least a month now; I've been completely unable to bring myself to purchase a replacement because every time I reach for that $200 prepaid cellphone I  think of how that money could be better spent on my kids. They're always in need of something, be it clothes, toys, diapers, or a new sippy cup.
 
I never bought myself new clothes after I had Tyler. My friend ended up giving me jeans that no longer fit her after she lost her baby weight. I haven't had a proper hair cut since before I had Erin, and I haven't taken a night out sans husband and kids in over 18 months. Today I found myself getting so stir crazy that I snapped at my husband. I found myself irrationally blaming him for my own self neglect until he pointed out that I'm the one who chose not to get the cellphone, haircut, clothes, and dinner by myself. He'd even nagged me to do these things for myself and I came up with an excuse every time.

Tomorrow I'm going to go and buy that new phone, have lunch by myself and go get myself a haircut! I'm going to express a bottle for Tyler and leave my husband with the girls for the afternoon and take some time just for me. When I come home I'm going to play with my kids and enjoy it twice as much as I usually do! 

The Second Time Around

As moms we tend to make things harder on ourselves than really necessary, this holds especially true for first time moms. At least it was that way for me. Today I realized that I do things differently with Tyler because the little things don't matter as much as the big things. I tell her I love her every day, I cuddle her, sing to her, play with her, give her lots of smiles, and read to her every single day. Doing something not exactly 'by the book' isn't bad. It's good! You've got to be flexible to stay sane. I'm pretty sure it's in the job description.

Today I had my two month old doing tummy time on the floor; she hadn't really napped and I was praying that some play time would wear her out. She fell asleep during tummy time and I didn't dare pick her up, after about ten minutes I rolled her onto her back and just let her sleep.When Erin was two months old allowing her to sleep on the floor was something I'd never do, it was almost incomprehensible . My baby was too good for the floor. As time went on I became more lax about the little things like that; it's not worth stressing over if they're safe and happy. 

 Allowing Tyler to  nap on the floor while I'm sitting right next to her playing with Erin doesn't make me a bad mom. It makes me flexible. It allowed me to have some much needed one on one time with my one year old. 

4:32am Musings of a Mommy

Being a mommy to two kids 10 months apart is hard. Extremely hard. I'm sitting here on the couch nursing a cup of coffee because it's too late to go back to bed; I'm up for the day and taking advantage of my hour or so of "me time" before the day really begins. My one year old is finally sleeping in her crib after a two and a half hour showdown, and my 8 week old is in her swing, swinging side to side, staring up at her mobile. It's quiet. No one is crying, all the diapers are changed, both kids have been fed. I'm in mommy heaven.

Erin is currently cutting 10 teeth. Yes, ten. Imagine the look  on my face when the pediatrician told me that at her one year well check. I knew that she was teething from the few times that she would let me investigate, but never in a million years would I have guessed that my poor baby was cutting so many teeth at once. It explained everything. The diaper rash, the screeching, refusal to eat, refusal to sleep, it all made perfect sense. Needless to say as soon as we left the pediatricians office we went straight to the store to get some infant ibuprofen. I felt insanely bad for not realizing that Erin was in so much pain.

Tyler had a pediatrician appointment at the same time. That was interesting. She's still recovering from her shots, and we're back to nursing after a slight strike. She's spitting and up all hours of the night, more-so than normal, and just all around cranky. She woke Erin up tonight and started a downward spiral of crying, hell even I was crying at one point.

My mom said I was crazy when I told her I was pregnant with Tyler on Christmas eve. Erin was only two months old at  the time. I thought I was crazy, myself. There I was, pregnant with a two month old, but little did I know that being pregnant with Tyler was one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I get twice the joy out of being a mother. If I didn't have her, I wouldn't get to watch my one year old give her kisses every day. I wouldn't get that big cheeky grin every time I give her a bath and I wouldn't get to look into those pretty little eyes and feel so, so loved.

 Everyone asks how I do it. How do I handle two so close together? I'll let you in on my secret. I just do it. I do it because I love them. I'm their Mommy and it's my job. I get up out of bed at one in the morning to nurse one and cuddle the other. It's hard, but I do it because I love it.